Seem's i've come around to the same cycle again. Not sure how many months it's been since the last. Have noticed, especially in the last year, how I come to this moment - stillness, and then boom. Catastrophe happens that sets me back and I have climb out of.
This time, being used to the pattern, I tried not to lose my emotional equilibrium, but relax into it.
But I'm questioning WHY these setbacks keep happening. Wait.. I'M creating them right lol, such a load of shit, I WANT to be set back..actually I want everything to go smoothly. But even as I write this I feel a part of me says that that's not true. That I don't, and That I test myself in these instances when certain things happen. i .e my bike breaking on a completely unexpected day..then receiving today and shit not done, even when I read the moron trying to help prior to completion, losing my bag coming from tornado manager at work..unbelievable. Had I finished my drink that wouldn't have happened. But had I not felt 'guilt' or embarrassment in my flow of action that wouldn't have happened either. <-- and that would make it my fault.
There is a duality of fault I guess.
One thing is certain, I feel stronger and feel like this incidence has made me even stronger this time.
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